How to attract men? It's simple but that doesn't mean it is easy.
I know you may think that it is extremely difficult or impossible, but the fact is that we men are looking for certain things in women and if you provide those things then we will come to you.
Firstly, forget what your girlfriends tell you. They don’t have a clue, and because they care about you they want you to feel ok, and that is what is keeping you stuck.
To understand how to attract men you have to understand that first and foremost men are visual. This means that how you look is the number one factor in your ability to attract men.
Sure, if you want to keep them, you will have to have a sense of humour and a good personality, blah, blah, blah. But we don’t see your personality across a room, other than the fact that you might appear approachable and happy, or, as is often the case, have ‘stuff you’ written across your forehead.
What we see is how you look? Think of packaging in a supermarket. Companies spend a fortune presenting their products in terms of shape and colour. They know how o attract men to a product and how to attract women to a product.
You need to think of yourself as a product on a shelf.
Appealing product = men want, Unappealing product = men not want.
I know you don’t want to hear this. When I lecture on this topic I can see the women cringing because everyone told them that it is what is on the inside that counts. Only slightly true I'm afraid and especially not initially.
They think that the answer to 'How to attract men' is to improve their personality, do a personal growth course or write affirmations and read the latest book on how men and women are different. You know that is how you think and that is what you do. These thing will help keep you stuck because they generally miss the point.
Not completely though. Males also look for various personality qualities (kindness, understanding, good parental skills) in their search for long-term mating partners, but unlike females, they assign disproportionately greater importance to attractiveness compared to other personal qualities (Buss, 1999)
Attracting men requires you to fulfill at least some criteria that men find appealing so that they will approach you and then maybe they will stick around because of your other qualities.
Why do you think many people find a relationship at work? It’s because people get to know each other over time and can come to appreciate each other's qualities slowly. That way the packaging takes on less importance.
However, if you don’t want to date people at work and would rather meet at a club, pub or even through the internet, you need to know that 'How to attract men?' means presenting the right packaging and to do that you need to know some of the criteria we look for.
We have developed these criteria over a long period of time (hundreds of thousands of years) and they assist us to find fertile mates. So what are the criteria?
1) Body shape
Dita Von Teese exhibits the hourglass shape
Dita knows how to attract men. She doesn't even have to open her mouth and we are already attracted because she has an attractive body shape.
Fatness is generally only a positive attribute in countries where food is scarce. In these countries it is a sign of health and wealth and confers high status on those who have this attribute.
Your body shape is arguably one of the most important factors in how to attract men as it is part of our first impression.
However, in the western world, a slim, curvy body is preferred. The ratio of the waist to the hip (waist to hip ratio or WHR) has been found to be an important element in female attractiveness.
As women age their lips thin, their chins and noses tend to lose collagen and begin to sag and lose shape, their skin loses the look and feel of youth and their waist-to-hip (WHR) ratio gradually increases.
In recent Polish research a low WHR (i.e. a curvaceous body) has been found to have a higher level of fertility, with a WHR of 0.7 considered the ideal. This is the ratio that men almost universally rate as the most preferred.
If you have a WHR of 0.9 you are 30% less likely to become pregnant than a woman with a WHR of 0.8.
Researcher Devendra Singh investigated Playboy magazine centerfolds from 1955 to 1965 and Miss America contest winners back to 1923. Although their body weight has been dropping over time their WHR has remained within a range that is quite narrow, suggesting that the preference for a low WHR continues across generations.
Studies at Jagiellonian University in Poland found that women with a low WHR and large breasts had larger amounts of female hormones. This made them about three times more likely to become pregnant than women with different WHR’s and smaller breast size.
Men tend to prefer women with average or slightly larger than average breast size and, as mentioned earlier, low WHR’s. Liposuction and breast augmentation are the two major cosmetic surgery procedures undertaken by women.
So, change your body, change your life and you will soon find out how to attract men
2) Neoteny - youthful features
When girls reach sexual maturity around the age of 13-14 their lips reach their maximum size and colour due to high levels of female hormones (high estrogen and low androgen).
They tend to have large eyes and their noses and chins will be small, with softer, unblemished skin. Neoteny is the name given to the carrying on of juvenile features into adult life.
Facial neoteny is the retention of these juvenile features in the face. If these features are proportional with a reasonable amount of symmetry then they will be considered beautiful (although symmetry is a component of attractiveness, its effect is much smaller than is commonly reported).
So a woman who can retain juvenile features or create them through make-up or cosmetic surgery will certainly have an advantage in the attractiveness game.
It is no surprise that the most common facial cosmetic surgery procedures involve reshaping the nose, enhancing the eyes, producing fuller lips, and improving the youthfulness of the skin. Women seem to know instinctively what looks good and how to attract men but they often don't do it as a complete package.
The goal is to learn how to attract men with the whole package, not just parts of it.. Women know that there are advantages of beauty in emulating aspects of a young girl's look.
In tribal communities many females are married by the age of 13 or 14 and have their first child at the age of 15. Their facial features, especially the full red lips are indicative of hormones flooding their bodies and fertility.
In experiments conducted in Germany it was found that when female photos were manipulated to enhance baby-facedness (neoteny), the most preferred female faces contained baby-face proportions between 10-50%.
Females found them as attractive as did males. Since even the most beautiful women become more beautiful when their facial proportions are made more childlike (large, round eyes, small short nose, a large curved forehead and a small chin) in learning how to attract men it pays to enhance these features through make-up, hairstyles or surgery.
Women have a greater luminance difference between the eyes and mouth and the rest of their face than do men. Simply put, the eyes and mouth are darker than the rest of the face and this is more pronounced in women.
Research by Richard Russell at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology has shown that when this luminance difference in a woman’s face is increased it will make her appear more feminine, whereas decreasing it makes her less feminine and therefore less attractive (it’s the reverse for men).
So the use of foundation to smooth out the skin also lightens the skin, enhancing the eyes. This combined with darkening the eyes and eyebrows and the use of lipstick creates a greater contrast between the eyes and mouth and the rest of the face.
Men’s eyebrows sit closer to the eyes and women’s eyebrows are situated higher above the eye socket. This is another example of sexual dimorphism and by increasing his difference between male and female we produce greater attractiveness.
So, accentuating the height of the eyebrows leads to the appearance of greater femininity and attractiveness. Increasing attractiveness will provide you with the advantages of beauty that were discussed on the 'Advantages of Beauty' page. If you don't believe there are advantages to beauty have a look at this page
In 1878 Francis Galton developed a technique for blending photos of a number of faces together. These composite photos turned out to be considered more attractive than any of the photos from which they were composed.
This led to a belief that people prefer the average look in a population. How wrong could they be? Being average will not help at all in teaching you how to attract men.
Many theories were put forward to explain this effect. However, recent research has shown that by blending faces the look of the skin becomes smoother and younger looking and this is why viewers find these composite photos more attractive.
Universally, humans prefer lighter skin. Research has shown that even dark-skinned cultures prefer lighter shadings within their own culture. Children will choose blonde dolls in preference to dolls with other hair colours, and there is generally a perception that blondes are preferred in western culture.
Evolutionary anthropologists theorise that this is not because of a preference for blonde hair but rather because blondes tend to have fair skin.
Fair skin not only makes it easier for observers to determine whether a person has any skin diseases or abnormalities but also female skin is generally lighter than male skin because women have a greater need for UV light.
One theory as to why this should be the case is that UV light is needed to synthesise previtamin D which assists calcium uptake. Calcium is also a mineral which is in heavy demand in pregnancy. Whenever you enhance a feature that already differentiates men from women i.e light skin, you enhance femininity which leads to increased attractiveness.
As mentioned earlier women, unlike men, tend to have a greater contrast between their lips and eyes compared to the skin of the face (i.e. eyes and lips are darker than the surrounding skin), so anything that increases this contrast will make them look more feminine.
Hence the use of lipstick, mascara and eye-shadow or lightening the skin of the face to look better and this is all part of learning how to attract men.
Given that the skin denotes health and youthfulness, anything that can enhance the quality of the skin will contribute to attractiveness.
The most common non-surgical cosmetic procedures amongst women (botox, micro-dermabrasion, chemical peel, Hyaluronic acid) are all aimed at improving the look of the skin. Improving the look of the skin is one element in how to attract men
Hair on women and men is a bit like the peacocks tail. A lustrous, full head of hair demonstrates that you are healthy enough to divert resources to maintain a display. So it is firstly an indicator of health and fitness (i.e. reproductive fitness).
Secondly, you can consider the hair as you would the frame for a painting. As you know from experience, some frames enhance a painting and some detract from its appearance. Hair is no different. You will have to decide what works for you by experimenting but you can lose ten years off your face with the right hairstyle and colour.
Research at Florida University demonstrated that both men and women preferred long hair on women. Blonde hair is thought to be attractive because of its connection with fair skin. However, a 1989 study demonstrated that men thought blond women were dumber than women with other hair colours.
Recent research found that a majority of men found blondes to be more friendly and approachable with about 40% of men sampled believing them to be needy and lacking in independence.
A recent sunsilk funded study showed that men are starting to perceive brunettes as the most attractive hair colour. Brunettes are seen as intelligent, sophisticated and strong willed women. Redheads were seen to be intelligent but on the downside a bit less than half thought them neurotic.
So it may be a trade off in the beauty stakes between what you find beautiful and how people perceive you. In the end it comes down to what you like and what reaction the world gives you as feedback. Your hairstyle is one more element in your repertoire of how to attract men.
How to attract men?
1)Lose weight if you are overweight. This doesn't mean you have to be thin. Studies have shown that women over-estimate how thin men prefer them to be. Men actually prefer a well-shaped average build.
How do you know if you are overweight?
Enter your measurements in the Body Mass Index calculator below and find out.
A BMI of 25-30 is considered to be overweight and anything above 30 is obese. A BMI between 18-20 is judged to be the most attractive by BOTH men and women
Also, take a measuring tape and measure around your stomach at the level of your belly button. Then measure your hip circumference at the widest spot (this is usually at the center of your butt).
Enter these figures to calculate you waist to hip ratio (WHR) below. For a woman anything below 0.8 is good.
If WHR is greater than 0.8 you are becoming unhealthy and heading towards unattractiveness
Yes, I know you may have been trying to lose weight for years, but now is the time to get it sorted. Being overweight, especially if you have lost your waist-to hip ratio, which should be between 0.7 and 0.8, is a major factor in not being able to attract men.
Start a diet and exercise programme you can live with - see the list of topics on my
How to attract men?
2)Learn about us (men, I mean). I spent years of research to understand women before I met and romanced my wife and she is wonderful, so it certainly paid off. If I didn't understand what makes women tick I would not have had a chance with her. Women are complicated but not nearly as complicated as you think you are.
Men definitely are less complicated but not as uncomplicated as you think they are. In learning how to attract men you need to understand us if you are going to be 'lucky' in love. For that you need research and the first step in research is to digest the information
Learning how to attract men is worth the investment of your time. men can be a lot of fun to be around. I make my life laugh every day and all my idiosyncrasies allow her to feel superior:-) You wouldn't set off on a journey without a map. On your journey of learning how to attract men this will be your map of the male psyche.
How to attract men?
3)Enhance your youthful features and femininity by the application of make-up. Anything that assists you in emulating youth,i.e large eyes; small nose; full, red lips; hair that frames your face and makes you look younger.
So go for greater contrast between eyes and lips and the rest of the face by applying foundation to the skin; eye-shadow to the eyes and lipstick to the lips. Experiment with your hairstyle and colour.
You can't do much about your nose if it is not ideal, other than surgery, so enhance the other features.
Cosmetic surgery is always an option but try less drastic measures first.
How to attract men?
4) Deal with any skin problems (acne, atopic dermatitis, rosacea, blemishes, etc) so that the skin is relatively unblemished and has an even look to it.
How to attract men?
5) Read the other information on this website. It will be an eye-opener for you.
Am I asking a lot? Yes. It seems daunting and women often say to me "I don’t want any man who only wants the packaging and not what I am inside".
If that is how you feel good luck, because most men will never get a chance to find out what you are like inside because they aren’t attracted to the packaging. Looks count!!
This is the start of a journey for you and to really learn how to attract men you need to be knowledgeable. Over time this site should cover everything you need in how to attract men but more than that it will help you create the body that you want and will need on this journey, but there is a whole lot more to consider so lets take the next step